I have been warned

When universities research their applicants, they take many precautions. Obviously, they’ll check to see if I’ve got a criminal record, and check to see if I’m off that register that naughty men go on when they forgo their responsibilities as a scout leader. I have also been warned that, in this modern day and age, they Google their applicants. Which in my case will lead them to reading this. Just in case this does happen in the future…

HELLO UNIVERSITY PEOPLE!
Please let me go to your university. I promise I’ll be good, and I swear that my inevitably disappointing A Levels are only a minor glitch in my otherwise prosperous career.

This is assuming, of course, that they have got the right Ben Baruch. We’re not as scarce as you might expect.

Other Ben Baruchs include

1) Ben Baruch

The author of the “Shabbot 6000” cartoon strip. With such hilarious jokes as:

“I went to a gay Jewish wedding. One of the grooms ended up with a broken foot. There was some confusion over who would be breaking the wine glass!”

I know, comedy gold. If you don’t understand it, you probably aren’t Jewish enough.

2) Meir Ben Baruch

Lived 1215 to 1293. Unsurprisingly, also Jewish.

He was a major author of the tosafot on Rashi’s commentary on the Talmud. I don’t know what that means.

3) Ben Baruch

Polish singer whose only available recordings are from 1949-1950. Specialised in traditional Jewish songs. Who’d’ve guessed?

The name Ben Baruch hasn’t exactly produced many great people, given that the fourth Ben Baruch I found was me. Interestingly, there are hundreds of Ben Baruchs on facebook. Some are boys, some are girls, some live in America, some live in Israel. In fact, the only strong pattern that can be seen is the sheer number of Ben Baruchs wearing Jew-hats in their profile pictures. And I use the phrase Jew-hat reluctantly, knowing that no one would’ve known what I was talking about if I gave its proper name. Because you are not Jewish enough, we’ve established this.