The Perfect Man

Warning: This post is even more self-absorbed than normal.

So they’ve discovered what makes up the perfect man. I have no idea who ‘they’ are, but I think they just asked some women. These dreadful lists seem to find their way onto the MSN website and sadly, so do I.

It’s a list of 30 characteristics that make up the perfect man. Now, I have never claimed to be the perfect man, but I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I’m close. So let’s seem how I measure up.

1. Is 6 feet tall.
No word of a lie, I’m 1cm less than 6 ft. Which is suppose not 6ft. No one will love me if I’m 5’ 11 and a half.

2. Muscly, toned and athletic.
The brilliant thing about the internet is that you can’t see me. So let’s go with yes…

3. Brown eyes.
No. But I do have eyes, which is half way there.

4. Non-smokers.
Finally. Actually, I do smoke when I’m on fire. So I suppose I don’t even qualify for that.

5. Good dress sense.
No comment. But I do have t-shirts with different Star Wars logos for each day of the week.

6. Short dark hair
Yes, I definitely do.

7. Earns at least £48,000 a year
No, I definitely don’t.

8. Only says ‘I love you’ when
Yeah that’s true. I don’t know why I even bother, my cats can’t understand me.

(I’m joking. My cats are the only ones who understand me. Understand who I really am. They are the only ones I can trust and tell all my problems to.)

There’s a whole list of these, and I don’t qualify for many. Turns out I’m not perfect after all, who’d have thought.

These lists are clearly pointless as people have different tastes. There must be someone who likes every look, or it would die out through evolution. Although that doesn’t explain the continued existence of gingers.

That was a joke.

Haha